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Time to think...

Unhelpful thoughts

Lets face it, we have all had time to think this year. Where some of us might be good at being honest with ourselves, some of us find it hard and literally fill our days up with anything just so we don't have to think.

When I say 'think' I mean thinking about things that might be painful or hard; facing up to problems we may have in our lives or things that are (and have been for a while) holding us back. Sometimes if we think about things that are hard we might also make excuses. Do you recognise any of these statements?

  • I need to start thinking about my health, but I haven't got time or I'll do it next month or I'll start on Monday or it's (I'm) not worth it

  • I don't think I can carry on with this job, I find it hard to even get out of bed sometimes but I have not choice or there isn't anything else I can do or I'm scared to think about what else to do because I might fail or this is just the way it is

  • I have no idea why I am feeling anxious/angry/sad/fearful/unhappy all the time but I should just carry on or this is just the way I am or it is because of someone else (it's their fault) or I am not worth investing time into

You get the picture? If you think about it (here I go again, with that word think...) it is not necessarily an event or person that brings on those unwanted feelings (anxiety, angry, sadness, fear etc) it is the way we think about it. This is complex sentence, one which takes a while to truly explain. It is also worth noting, that making change takes time, 'things' cannot be resolved overnight.

The support I offer to people is to help them understand their thinking, provide techniques to help them re-frame their thinking so they are in control of their emotions (and as a consequence their behaviour). It isn't that simple for all people, sometimes we need to delve into those past events to remove the emotion attached to them and just keep hold of the lesson. It also takes time to help people uncover their thoughts; they are not always conscious thoughts.

I provide support that is solution focussed as opposed to talking therapy that may only delve into the past (and assumed future) where those unhelpful emotions (anxiety, anger, depression etc) were created. I don't believe it is helpful to keep people in a negative state i.e. continuing to relive painful memories. That is why I use a number of approaches because I believe that 'one size does not fit all' and it is important to meet a person in 'their world' and provide them with support that suits them i.e. not prescriptive.

If you have had time to think this year or have felt stuck for some time and those thoughts have been unhelpful to you and you don't know what to do with them then get in touch as I will be able to help you. I offer a free initial consultation so you have nothing to lose.

Just book an initial consultation on my booking page.

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