“If you propose to speak, always ask yourself, is it true, is it necessary, is it kind.” ~Buddha

Today’s BLOG is all about learning how to STOP and take a breath before jumping headlong into a situation you might regret! We've all done it haven't we... jumped in with either a comment we wished we'd thought through or an action we wished we had done differently. The consequence can be detrimental. It can help to STOP, take a breath and then decide which path to take.

Here are some simple techniques which I hope will help you do just that.

1. STOP and step back – don’t act immediately – pause. Something I've started to do if I feel I'm going to react in anger is just say 'give me a minute to process this'. It works for me and gives me the opportunity to explain what I was feeling, what I was thinking and why.

2. Take a deep breath - notice (and focus on) your breath as you breathe in and out.

3. Observe – what am I thinking and feeling? What are the words that my mind is saying? Is this fact or opinion? Are they descriptions or evaluations? Are they accurate or inaccurate? What unhelpful thinking habits am I using? Think 'response' and not 'reaction'.

4. Pull back – see the situation as an outside observer. What would a fly on the wall see? Is there another way of looking at this? What would someone else see and make of it? What advice would you give to someone else? What meaning am I giving this event for me to react in this way? How important is it right NOW, and how important will it be tomorrow or in 3 months time? Is my reaction in proportion to the actual event?

5. Reflect - if it's too late and you've reacted then take a moment after the event. Use you 'lapse in judgement' to consider they questions above. Why did you respond in that way? In hindsight what would I do differently? Do I need to apologise or do I need to let the other person/people know how they made me feel?

6. Practice what works – Do what works for you, and what helps. Always play to your principles and values. Ask, what will be the consequence of my action? What is best for me and most helpful for the situation? Practice is totally the word of the day here. My comments will not make you or situations change, it is all about noticing what you are feeling, your thoughts and doing a little digging into why.

Choose your attitude.

Have a happy and healthy day.

Much Love Jo xxxx