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Self Defeating Beliefs

We all have thoughts that once we question them we understand the thoughts were irrational. These are beliefs we have about ourselves; sometimes they can be self defeating beliefs. What is a belief? It is a perception of reality, or something you were told that you had no reason to doubt. How do you know that you have a self defeating belief? If you are feeling some way you don’t like feeling, you are probably believing something that’s not true. Choose one limiting belief and ask yourself these questions: Do I believe that? Why do I believe that? What seems true about that? What might concern me if that belief were gone? (What might happen that I would not like?) These questions give you a

Fact or Opinion?

Sometimes we may struggle seeing the facts or evidence we have against an unhelpful thought and belief. Sometimes we have to dig a little to get to the detail. It is important for us to be able to distinguish between fact and opinion: FACT Evidence to support its truth Undisputed Driven by rational thought OPINION Based upon a belief or personal view Varies according to individuals’ knowledge, experience, culture, belief systems etc. Driven by and reinforced by emotion At stressful times, we tend to be driven by our emotions and opinions, which create a vicious cycle by fuelling each other. Our emotions strengthen our opinions, which in turn, intensify our emotions. This can lead to impulsi

Circle of control

Stephen Covey termed the phrase ‘the circle of control’. It is where we need to learn how to focus only on the things we can change. This technique has been adapted from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey, Simon & Schuster 1992. All of us have a wide range of concerns in our lives – our housing, our health, our friends and family, the environment, the price of a pint of beer, how to lose weight, animal rights, how to put on weight, sex, drugs and rock and roll, third world debt... Within this whole universe of our concerns, there are some things we can influence that we have control over and some things we can only stay concerned about. Now we have a choice about